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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619415">Of Love, Peace, and Restraint</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcrowned/pseuds/willowcrowned'>willowcrowned</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Padmé and Obi-Wan have a talk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:00:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcrowned/pseuds/willowcrowned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Senator Amidala watches him freeze under her gaze, a predator watching its prey. “What is it, Obi-Wan?” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan raises one eyebrow a fraction of an inch. “That was rather more direct than I’d expect of you, Senator.” </p>
<p>Her lips twitch into a small smile— very sweet and very cold. “And that was a deflection. I’ve no interest in exchanging verbal parries with you— we’d be here all night. Say your piece, Master Kenobi.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan meets her gaze, not expecting she’ll look away. He gathers his thoughts for a moment and formats them into something as inoffensive as possible. “Your marriage to Anakin,” he begins. </p>
<p>“Ah,” she says with satisfaction, setting down her datapad and crossing her hands over her growing stomach. She’d expected his answer.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Padmé Amidala &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Love, Peace, and Restraint</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Canon divergence onward from somewhere at the end of the Clone Wars. Anakin didn't fall, Palpatine was killed, and the war ended.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obi-Wan shifts in his seat subtly, thumb rubbing over his forefinger repeatedly inside his sleeve as he glances at Senator Amidala for the third time in as many minutes. She’s working at her desk in her private office at home, a comfortable room as things go, with a couch for Obi-Wan to sit on as well as a few chairs and a desk. </p>
<p>He’s here nominally as a favor to Anakin, safeguarding his pregnant wife while he’s helping negotiate a ceasefire. Obi-Wan is on enforced medical leave on Coruscant with nothing to do, Anakin is paranoid— it seemed an easy way to keep them both out of trouble. </p>
<p>Obi-Wan readjusts his hand inside his sleeve, once again beginning to worry at his finger with the pad of his thumb. Outwardly, he knows, he looks the part of a perfect Jedi master, but following around impulsive force-wielders for the majority of his life has given him the ability to appear calm even when he’s just seen his padawan light four separate buildings on fire with nothing but a few misspoken words. </p>
<p>She looks up as he looks back to the traffic outside the window, meeting his gaze. The Senator watches him, razor-sharp dark eyes tracking the minutiae of his every movement, as, he realizes, watching her send him an unimpressed look as he forces himself still, she must have been doing for the past half-hour without his noticing. His face twinges almost imperceptibly as he forces back a grimace. He is not often caught off guard. </p>
<p>Senator Amidala watches him freeze under her gaze, a predator watching its prey. “What is it, Obi-Wan?” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan raises one eyebrow a fraction of an inch. “That was rather more direct than I’d expect of you, Senator.” </p>
<p>Her lips twitch into a small smile— sweet, and very cold. “And that was a deflection. I’ve no interest in exchanging verbal parries with you— we’d be here all night. Say your piece, Master Kenobi.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan meets her gaze, not expecting she’ll look away. He gathers his thoughts for a moment and formats them into something as inoffensive as possible. “Your marriage to Anakin,” he begins. </p>
<p>“Ah,” she says with satisfaction, setting down her datapad and crossing her hands over her growing stomach. She'd expected his answer</p>
<p>He lets a touch of annoyance and the barest hint of disdain creep into his false smile in response to her conduct. It seems she has no desire to let him maintain the illusion that he’d been subtle. He had been obvious— far more obvious than he’s wont, and he’s never been the most delicate of creatures— but she needn’t have pointed it out. </p>
<p>“Your marriage to Anakin,” he repeats, “seems incongruent with your own goals, let alone his allegiances. Anakin has never felt at ease with the Order; I can see him conceivably giving it up for marriage. You, on the other hand, quite enjoy your job— not to mention your evident skill at it— and yet you chose not only to marry him, but to become pregnant.” </p>
<p>She smiles at him, the hint of mirth in her expression matched with the predator’s satisfaction exuding from her every look. “First things first, Obi-Wan. I feel I should clarify that I never intended to become pregnant.” </p>
<p>He tilts his head slightly. “I was not aware,” he says smoothly, “that the Naboo had ethical issues with the termination of pregnancy.” </p>
<p>“We don’t,” she says, “but let’s not distract ourselves from the point at hand.” She pushes out her chair and gets up, not yet pregnant enough to render her graceless, and walks over to sit beside him. “Do you know what he said the first time I asked him how our political system should work?” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan cringes instinctively. He remembers Anakin’s thoughts on bureaucracy as a teenager, slowly growing more and more supportive of the ruthless militaristic sensibilities that Palpatine had clearly favored and yet unable to defend any of his points with the grace and eloquence expected of him. </p>
<p>“He said that people should sit down and actually talk about the problems.” </p>
<p>“Oh dear,” Obi-Wan murmurs. </p>
<p>“And that if they couldn’t, someone should make them.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan lets the blow hit, willing himself not to grimace, and looks down, away from her. “He... has shown an affinity towards expediency over empathy.” </p>
<p>Padmé snorts, a sound that so completely startles him coming from her that he refocuses on her face. “He was arguing in favor of fascism, Obi-Wan. Let’s not mince words.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan sighs. “I was being politic.” </p>
<p>“I’m his wife. You’re his friend. If we can’t acknowledge his faults without ‘being politic’ then we’ve already failed him.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan concedes the point by inclining his head slightly, allowing her to continue. </p>
<p>“In any case,” she continues, “when I asked him who he thought should ‘make them’— his words, not mine— he said ‘Not me. Someone wise.’ I confess that, until that moment, I had been on the verge of sending for a different Jedi and suggesting very strongly that the Council keep a closer eye on him.” </p>
<p>Obi-Wan gives her a look. “Yes, he does have his moments of self-awareness.” </p>
<p>“He does,” she agrees, a genuine smile pulling at her lips, but her expression soon sobers as she refocuses her attention on Obi-Wan. “Do you know how large the political and commercial influence of a former queen of Naboo, let alone a senator for the entire sector, is?” </p>
<p>The pieces slot together, and Obi-Wan has to restrain himself from slapping a hand to his face. She’s being incredibly kind in allowing him the benefit of the doubt on this one— doubt that he doesn’t deserve. He’s perfectly capable of putting this sort of thing together on his own, except, as it appears, when it includes Anakin. </p>
<p>“Here was a man dropped into my lap who was not only pretty, competent in his chosen field, and half in love with me already, but with no desire to take advantage of my power and the lack of political savvy required to succeed should he ever try.” She meets Obi-Wan's eyes. “I’m not a romantic. I never have been. Anakin loves me dearly and I love him dearly in my own way, but I have never been under the impression that I would marry for love alone. He loves children, he loves me, and I know he could be happy raising a family— provided, of course, that he can go off on the occasional adventure-filled jaunt into the Outer Rim,” she adds with a wry twist to her mouth. “You must understand: I care for him deeply— I would never knowingly make him unhappy if it could be avoided— but the passion he feels for me is not something I feel for him. I can give him stability, support, and a way to be happy. He can give me a family with my career and a beautiful, caring, husband to come home to.” </p>
<p>Her hands twitch fractionally, as if she’s aborted the urge to twist them in her dress. Obi-Wan realizes, to his immense surprise, that she is nervous about his reaction. She thinks he might disapprove— she thinks he <i>will</i> disapprove, and she’s only unsure as to the degree of censure that she is to receive. Moreover, she either thinks that he has enough control over Anakin to force him to end their marriage or that Anakin cares enough for him and his advice that he’d listen if Obi-Wan asked him to abandon her. He’s not sure which is more unlikely, but up until ten seconds ago he was certain both were out of the realm of possibility.  </p>
<p>That she believes he has this sort of influence over Anakin is horrifying. He can’t— won’t— do her the disservice to assume that he knows Anakin’s mind better than her at present, but that she thinks he has such power, that he holds enough of Anakin’s affection to be made a threat to her relationship... he has been blind for far too long.  </p>
<p>He has the option now to disapprove, to keep Anakin for the Jedi, for the good of the galaxy. This, of course, assuming that keeping Anakin a Jedi would be even feasible, let alone good for him or the galaxy. Obi-Wan knows the code, inside and out, and he knows Anakin. Anakin, who had chosen to leave the Jedi before the war had erupted. Anakin, who has only ever wanted peace and a family for himself. </p>
<p>Obi-Wan looks out the window, the traffic of Coruscant seeming impossibly far away. “We— the Jedi— are a people of order. We are of quietude, of reflection, of light and peace and compassion. But we are not of love. And yet— and yet I love him. Against the code, against my will, against everything my home would teach.” He pauses, turning back to meet her eyes. “He is no child of the Jedi. He needs warmth and affection, not order and quiet halls. That sort of love— to give him that, I would have to forsake my vows, and I will not— cannot— do that. I—” Obi-Wan pauses, the words catching in his throat. “I can’t love him— not the way he needs to be loved: without reservation, without restraint.”  </p>
<p>Padmé looks at him softly, quietly, mournfully. “I must be honest, it seems a sad existence to me— to restrain one’s love.” </p>
<p>“In some ways,” Obi-Wan says, feeling her dark eyes peering into the center of his being, “it is. But I would not choose another path.” </p>
<p>“Very well, Master Jedi,” she says softly. “I will not pretend that I do not understand, even if I know I would not choose it for myself.” </p>
<p>“It is not always the best path,” Obi-Wan agrees, voice at the same quiet register. “For some, it is an impossible burden— one that I will not ask them to bear.” </p>
<p>Her face softens nearly imperceptibly, a small glitch in her porcelain mask as the words sink in, his final judgment made. “I am glad your thought turns that way, Obi-Wan.” She reaches out, taking his hand in her small one. “The Jedi may not be his family, but you are. I would ask you to visit often, if it could be allowed.” </p>
<p>He clasps her hand in his, allowing her small, cold, fingers to bleed a gentleness into his countenance. “I think, given the circumstances, frequent visits would be permissable.” </p>
<p>Padmé smiles then, her discreet expression melting into a thing of blinding brilliance, and Obi-Wan understands, then, how someone like Anakin might have fallen desperately, irrevocably, in love with her. </p>
<p>“I am glad he has you,” he says, voice thicker with emotion than he’d expected. </p>
<p>“And I am glad I have him,” she replies, still brilliant and beautiful and clever and shining with her own sort of quiet devotion, and below her heart, Obi-Wan feels two glimmers in the Force explode into blinding suns.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun fact! this doc's title in my drafts folder is 'why did I marry him? because he's stupid and lets me peg him. next question.' Clearly it turned out a little different from how I expected, tonally speaking.</p>
<p>also, I watched the anidala picnic scene for this. i hope you people appreciate what I went through for you</p></blockquote></div></div>
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